I'm a recovering addict of believing I have no options. And, It's really no wonder when you consider my strategy for managing my early-adult life a few short years ago:
Stick it out until you snap (power through until you are forced to make a change).
I still shake my head in disbelief at this. I mean, I actually verbalized those statements to myself!!
Anyway, if you're a member of the Sacred Circle, I promised you this Soul Note to explain my thought process in postponing an upcoming program (Be Nourished).
Why? It contains so many elements that I believe can make your life flow more easily, too.
After all, I am here to inspire you to seek your truths and find your wings.
I know I'm not the only one who has imploded (or exploded) under feelings of being trapped in some situation, or under an emotional weight (the snap, breaking point, meltdown, blow up). Here's what I most want you to know about all of this:
Once I was able to pull my head (and emotions) out of the picture, I always found there was-at least-one other option. I wasn't trapped. I didn't need to beat myself up or allow the situation to break me down.
All I needed was to (objectively, non-judgementally) face my truths about those options. You see, in the raging storm of my emotions, I obviously couldn't see clearly...I wouldn't acknowledge any options because they came with consequences I didn't want to consider, or take on.
But there, in that dark and infinite place, is where some powerful work can happen, if you choose it.
In those consequences, of the options we refuse to acknowledge, lie our fears.
You know what has to happen next, right? Get your spiritual lantern out, we're going in!
In this example of postponing my program I was suffering deeply with the stress of how to make this happen by the date I set (once and then a second time!). I was completely stressed out because I really didn't know how to get all the pieces accomplished in time. I was stressed because it was feeling inauthentic which was a result of me trying to force the creative process, instead of surrendering to the flow of Spirit. Everything about it was beginning to feel ICKY!
Fortunately, my coaching self stepped forward again and called for a time-out. I paused and asked myself these questions:
Why in the hell did you put a date on something before you had it completed? (OK, this may sound judgmental, but it was really Spirit pointing out that I am not in full control of these projects I am assigned to.) Well, I thought it would light a fire under my ass...if I had a deadline, I'd get it done sooner.
Do you really, really have to launch this program by said date? (Note: I didn't readily succumb to this point and for several weeks my answer was "because I told everyone so!")
Alright, so you have to launch by said date because you said so, and you determined this date because you are in charge of this program? Yes, I am in complete control of launching this program.
So, if you are in control, you could, in fact, make a new decision, now, to not launch it, right? (This is where the shift happens; I allow myself to go there, into the options...no matter their feasibility or consequences.) If I decide not to launch, people will think I'm unprofessional. I will feel unprofessional. It will be completely embarrassing. I might lose clients, potential clients, and followers. I will look bad.
Ahhh...there they are, my fears. In that very instant, no matter what those consequences were, I knew I could not let them drive my decision. I would not allow fear to steer my way ahead.
In my sacred lifestyle, I am committed to the way of the heart--Love, and never the way of fear.
This whole process revealed to me what some of my fears are, how insidious they can be in my work, and perhaps most importantly, how committed I am to being here with you, in my work, authentically.
It is far more important to me to show up in life as I truly am, divinely inspired, rather than waste any sacred moment wondering what others think of me.
It may feel a bit uncomfortable to consider all of your options, to explore those consequences and the little truths they reveal to you, about you, but I promise that if you do, you will invoke a sense of freedom and peace within.
Recognize your "no options" feelings or talk (usually comes in complaints).
Acknowledge the consequences.
Embrace your truths.
Enjoy your freedom.
Have you used this process, or something similar to make tough decisions?
What values or beliefs do you hold that act as your compass (such as my desire to be authentic + live from a place a Love)?
When we face our truths, especially those in the form of fears, we can choose to heal them.