There is a tender balance in caring for someone (who has, or had, “issues”) without making them feel alienated, weird, bad, or NEED-TO-FIXED for having said issues. There is a way to acknowledge someone’s damaged goods without drawing attention, and continuing to direct their focus upon the negative. What we focus on expands, grows, and can consume us. This is why, contrary to popular practice, pouring over and over a situation to reveal some nugget of truth that will set the person free, can often prove futile. Instead, this dwelling fuels the momentum of the very situation they wish to be rid of (emotions keep it alive and coursing through the body like torture). Each new moment spent like that keeps the pain and suffering alive - alive in the mind, body and Spirit, wreaking mental and physical damage. This is not the quickest path to healing (but the choice for some). Now, I am not suggesting we should ignore the pain or pretend it doesn’t exist, not in the least. Under careful (don’t let your emotions charge) consideration, you should have a look at the “baggage” only long enough to equip yourself with (1) where they are coming from (for compassion), (2) what specific challenges (tasks/situations) it may create for the person as they go forward, and in some situations to (3) create a safe plan (preventing future recurrences).
For the person experiencing pain & suffering, I suggest that for every 5 minutes you sit reeling in it (which is vitally important: allow yourself this time to just FEEL it, this can look nasty but is very necessary), choose to spend the next 15 minutes thinking about ANYthing that feels good, being gentle with yourself, finding ways to nurture your Soul, and not the struggle.
Not everyone readies to release their suffering under the same timeline. There is no “right” time to release pain; in fact, an actual decision for release isn’t even necessary. Simply put, if a person focuses on nurturing their Soul, then suffering and struggle will have no foothold within them. It will be released as a result of focusing on their truth and Spirit (God). This is another miracle of God, because many of us just can NOT LET GO until we figure it out! Am I right? It is true, each experience presents us individual lessons, but they often are not realized until years later. I believe that takes place when we finally reach a place (and are equipped with new information) which finally allows us to SEE the experience in a way that will benefit us. Keep in mind when attempting to assist someone, sometimes the most you can do is check in (on a spiritual level) every so often, and provide little openings here and there. While they don’t have to make a decision to release their struggle, they do have to decide to be present, to live in this new moment. When that moment arrives, you’ll be ready to nurture their Soul, and not their struggle.
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