A few weeks ago while I was receiving my Level I Reiki attunement, I was asked: what are you most grateful for? I had to sit with this question for quite sometime. I have so much to be grateful for...big things, little things...how could I choose what I'm most grateful for? I named quite a few things as I continued digging, wondering what the root of all this would be. I thought about how important my open heart is, a husband who cooks, cleans and is a true partner, my soul sisters and brothers who get me, the tough decisions I've made, my intelligence, my inner beauty, my faith and trust in the Divine mysteries, and then lightening struck--courage.
Courage to become me.
All of those things I named previously, are just facts...they are who I am, qualities that I chose to nurture, people whom I sought out and attracted--all in all, things that were given to me, to help me become the person I was meant to be. I didn't always have this view of life, though. I spent a lot of time turning away from exploring my own desires to help fulfill the lives of those around me. Without courage, I was really just half-assing my life!
Courage allows me to take the journeys within, to rediscover myself (no matter who she might be) and bring my soul back to the surface, day after day.
I don't believe that courage is a quality that you either have or you lack. I believe courage is a way of living that you must choose again and again. It took me nearly 25 years to realize that if I wasn't deliberately seeking out who I was (how I felt) and making conscious choices to honor her, that I was holding her prisoner from really living, and not fulfilling my role in the world (to be me!). It took me nearly 30 years to realize that I could fully honor all that I am, make choices to become more me, and still be supportive of others' happiness (without feeling responsible for their happiness). I learned just how much space there is between holding my tongue and eventually exploding or imploding with confused resentment.
At this point during my inner exploration, I began to realize just how important courage had been to my becoming, to every (what feels like) best and most powerful decision I've made in my life. And so I thought to myself, I need to practice this more often. Who would I be if, everyday, I asked myself, what is the most courageous thing I can do today? How can I dare to be more me?
This week, I encourage you to ask yourself those questions, to look around your life and see how you can be more courageous. If your answer feels a little scary, it is probably a soul empowering choice.
Step out. Up-level your Soul. Expand. Become more you.
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